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Double Caps for Marital Bliss

August 8th, 2008

Many couples I know have criticisms of each other’s habits at home.   It’s natural.

One prominent habit is that usually one half of the couple squeezes the toothpaste tube in the middle instead of squeezing the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.  This causes a lot of friction within couples.  Sometimes they get nasty with each other.

The toothpaste companies would be doing a great service to humanity if they would make toothpaste tubes with a cap at both ends.  That would solve the problem. 

This is my humble suggestion for domestic bliss.  

Maui Blackie Gadarian

 

toothpaste

Customer's Communicate

Colorful, humble Blackie; a boatyard and bar

July 26th, 2008

Article in the Lahaina News, July 24, 2008 edition. Written by Norm Brezane / Beyond the Beach.

 

LAHAINA – The best word to describe orange-shirted Blackie Gadarian – 87-year-old machinist, former bar owner, jazz buff and irascible writer of pithy letters to local publications – is colorful. 

Growing up in New York City, Arsene Gadarian won the moniker “Blackie” because of his thick black hair (now entirely gone).

After World War II, Blackie started Blackie’s Boat Yard in Newport Beach, California, later opening a second one on Maui in 1979. To paint his new boat maintenance buildings in California, struggling Blackie got some strange, lead-based red paint for free. A year later it turned an ugly color, and Blackie was told the only new color he could paint over it was orange.

The orange buildings became a trademark and orange shirts followed, worn the last 29 years on Maui. (His closet now has 40 of them, and none of another color). Wife Sara drives him around in an orange golf cart and truck with an orange stripe and logo. Sara usually wears light blue shirts.

Blackie is most famous around these parts for Blackie’s Bar, an infamous hangout on land that once stood in the middle of his boat yard near the current Shell station across from Lahaina Cannery Mall.

To build his bar, the innovative Blackie bought the top of Windsock Lounge, well-known as the place to go have a drink before boarding a plane at the old West Maui Airport at “Airport Beach” in Kaanapali.

Blackie wanted the bar, which he put on a truck and hauled to Lahaina, because it was the stomping ground of  renowned bartender “High School Harry” Given, revered for his powerful Bloody Marys. Blackie’s Bar kept the Bloody Marys and also added Sara’s famous, home-cooked meat loaf sandwich ($5.50).

To continue to read the full story click on the picture of Blackie  … blackie sara1_3994

 

 

Part two:

 

Sara: It’s Blackie against the world.

 

BEYOND THE BEACH By Norm Bezane

 

LAHAINA – Soft-spoken Sara Richardson Gadarian, who has lived here for nearly two decades, has been married to “lovable, humble Blackie” for 48 years.

When they met, she said, “I saw a feisty man – tall, dark and handsome. He had a wonderful sense of humor. He made me laugh and he loved music and the beach. And he was a wonderful dancer who could do the Lindy Hop.”

The marriage has survived, in part, because Sara – owner of an infectious laugh – has a sense of humor, too.

Behind the rough, gruff, seemingly unapproachable facade of former Lahaina bar owner Arsene “Blackie” Gadarian is “a man who is extremely gentle with the people he loves,” Sara said.

“But usually it is Blackie against the world.” 

Many KPOA listeners were introduced to humble Blackie by radio commercials featuring the iconoclast himself.

“Blackie’s Bar is for grownups. Leave your kids and dogs at the hotel. This is your wonderful, lovable, humble Blackie,” he would say. 

Visitors to the beer, burger and jazz joint just north of town were first accosted by a special sign. 

Blackie explained, “Most tourists used to be told that the streets of Lahaina were lined with free coupons. And everything was aloha. We had a sign that said, ’Aloha is a two-way street.’

“If you come here and are nice, we are nice. If you come here and are (unprintable), we will be (unprintable).” 

Above a long stairway lined with photos of old shipwrecks, there were more signs and more rules:

“PROMOTE SAFE BOATING. STAY ASHORE AND DRINK AT BLACKIE’S BAR!”

“No pipe or cigar smoking permitted. Keep your feet and legs off the chairs.”

“IF YOU ARE NOT DRINKING, YOU ARE LOITERING!”  

Blackie’s own drinking was supposed to be legendary, but he had a trick up his orange sleeve.

Customers would buy him drinks, and he would pour the contents down a convenient drain when they weren’t looking. He claims his other secret was having more than two drinks actually made him sick.

On jazz nights, Blackie would open the show with a monologue. Now, with the bar closed since 1991, he’s taken to baiting tourists – he does not call them “visitors” – many evenings at Leilani’s on the Beach. 

Blackie, with a cane, and Sara stroll in. Bar patrons scatter, and the two get stools.

“What else am I going to do? I am not going to sit home and throw bread to the birds,” said Blackie.

Outrageous things come out of Blackie’s mouth all the time – best left unchallenged. Yet, for anyone who loves to debate issues, the cantankerous Blackie is a joy. 

Once accepted, he’s fun to talk to, because he is well-informed and a self-described “news junkie.” 

Obama? “If he can’t stop smoking, how is he going to stop the war?”

Development? “We have people who gripe about too much development. ’It is too crowded.’ When I was born, there were 120 million people in the country. Now there are 300 million – what are we going to do?”

At 87, Blackie Gadarian shows no sign of stopping. In orange shirt, when and if he reaches the Pearly Gates, he must remember one thing:  “No loitering.”

Customer's Communicate

Halloween in Lahaina Town

July 11th, 2008

The name of the group is the Maui County Cultural Resources Commission.    It is a group of  9 citizens appointed by the Mayor and confirmed by the Maui County Council. You can see their purpose on the web under Maui County Cultural Resources commission. 

On line, the articles in the Maui News so far are Thursday July 5, 2008 headline "Lahaina Town denied a Halloween permit", and an editorial Sunday, July 6, 2008 titled "Panel Changes Halloween operation".

Today’s Maui News on line is doing a survey for comments from the readers.  There is also a letter to the editor in today’s Maui News (Wednesday July 9th) from Ken Deasy titled "Halloween party just that, chance to have fun".   It is not as caustic as Blackie’s letter.    We’ll see if the Maui News prints an expurgated version of Blackie’s comments.  

 

Here is Blackie’s comments in the ‘expurgated’ edition of the Maui News:

"Cultural Resources Commission goes too far"

 

Here is Blackie’s ‘unexpurgated’ comment:

 

The culture control gang has done it again. Among other edicts, they have declared that Halloween is illegal because it does not show Lahaina’s Hawaiian cultural history.

Let’s do something about it. We need authenticity. Remove all buildings. No more streets. Remove them. Remove the harbor. Remove alien plants and trees that were brought here such as the banyan tree and plumerias. We shall have to somehow cause lava to flow from the volcano above Lahaina.

Everyone not Hawaiian must leave. We will need Hawaiians. There aren’t too many around. Bring some Hawaiians back from the California hotel in Las Vegas. Dress them in native dress. Put men in a loincloth covering like a grass Speedo. Put women in grass skirts. Women to be topless. Provide grass huts for everyone. Have them eat native delicacies such as breadfruit, taro, and fish.

Men would be making canoes to catch fish with. They would use shells and rocks to work with.

No more meat. The only meat available is if they eat each other. Once in a while a whale would wash ashore. That would cause a great feast. Women would cook and make babies. Money is not needed.

Tourists are not permitted around the village. Their very presence would detract from the native scene.

Anyway, that’s what I think the culture gang wants as a genuine Hawaiian village.

Of course, any of the culture bunch who are not pure Hawaiians would have to go.

 

The entire idea of recreating yesterday in Hawaii overwhelms me.

On second thought, fuck it all.

halloween

Hollow1 Hollow2 halloween

Customer's Communicate

What is “Homemade”?

July 4th, 2008

vending-machine  

There’s always a day when you decide to go out to the restaurant instead of eating at home.

 

When you look at a menu, you invariably see offerings such as “homemade meat loaf”, “home fries”, “homemade soup”, “homemade apple pie”, etc.

 

This brings up the questions: What really is “homemade” food? And why did you go out to eat when “homemade” is at home?

 

Maui Blackie – Blackie Gadarian

Customer's Communicate

A Balanced Diet for residents and vacationers

June 27th, 2008

It’s not easy for some of us Maui residents to be on a diet. I walk up and down the aisles in the market yearning for the goodies I want but can’t have. I watch vacationers piling their carts full of indulgent snacks and drinks.

Then a calamity happens. Vacationers give me their leftover snacks and drinks when they get ready to go home. There, in front of my eyes, are the goodies I saw in the market and couldn’t have. And it’s all free. It’s more than I can bear. There goes my diet, again.  

 

balanced-diet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blackie Gadarian – Maui Blackie

Customer's Communicate

ATM lines are my favorite place …

June 20th, 2008

NewATM  

 

CLICK ON THE IMAGE. WAIT A FEW MOMENTS IF YOU

HAVE A SLOW CONNECTION. THE IMAGE WILL GET LARGER AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO READ IT….

 

I have watched people in the line at the ATM machine money wall.

The people waiting to use the ATM have a sad, grim look on their faces as if their dog died.

After they get their money, they leave happy and smiling.

They look like they just won a jackpot.

Do they think they got a bunch of free money?

Blackie Gadarian – Maui Blackie

Customer's Communicate

The case of the missing

June 13th, 2008

suitcase Many of us who travel check our bags in at the airlines and wonder if we will ever see them again.

 

One way to help yourself is to take photographs of all your bags.

If your bags get lost in foreign countries, you will be able to show pictures instead of trying to describe them.

You should take photos of your family too, so that you can find your family if they get lost. That is, if you want them back.

However, it won’t do you any good if you put the photos in the bags you check in.

 

Maui Blackie – Blackie Gadarian

Customer's Communicate

Surf’s Up

June 8th, 2008

    Pineapples While serving in the Navy in Oahu back in 1943, we would turn on the radio after reveille at 5 a.m. to hear the news of the day.

The first announcement was “There will be pineapples in the fields today”.

That meant that the weather was right and the workers should go to work in the many pineapple fields that were on the island.

 

Now the morning announcement says that the surf is up.

 

surf

Times change, don’t they?  

Maui Blackie  – Blackie Gadarian

Customer's Communicate

Questions from Tourists Visiting Hawaii

May 29th, 2008

Questions from Tourists Visiting Hawaii

Those of us who live in Hawaii meet lots of tourists. Here are some of the questions that I have heard:

What is the money exchange in Hawaii?

Which side of the road do you drive on in Hawaii?

Is there water all the way around the Hawaiian islands? islands

Do we need a permit to drive over to the other islands?

Can you drink the tap water in Hawaii?

Do we give tips in Hawaii?

What languages are spoken on the various islands?

Where can I get free coupons?

Are there any pearls left in Pearl Harbor?

How much are the tickets for the whale show?

 

whale

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do they use the same whales for every show?

Where do they get the whales?

 

I try to give answers to these questions, but sometimes words fail me.

 

Maui Blackie – Blackie Gadarian

Customer's Communicate

A Legend from Hawaiian Ancient Folklore

May 26th, 2008

A Legend from Hawaii Ancient Folklore

All the world’s people have traditions and history. So do the Hawaiians.

Many years ago, the King and his people lived on the island of Maui.

His rule was absolute.

Among his subjects were Ooma and Oopa. Ooma was a beautiful girl and Oopa was a handsome young man.

Ooma and Oopa lived on the seashore in a grass dwelling. During the day, Ooma made poi out of taro and cooked fish. Oopa went fishing and hung around the other men, as all men do all over the world.

Once in a while, the King would start a war with other kings and Oopa would have to go.

It was on the third day after the half moon when the moon was directly overhead. That was the holiest of days because the King said so.

Ooma gave birth to a beautiful boy. Everyone came to admire this man-child.

The King was overjoyed. His sons had been killed in battle. He had no heirs. This man-child would be a great heir. After all, he was born at a holy time.

But first, the child had to pass the test: a very important one.

The King, Ooma and Oopa and the entire village entourage had a procession to the top of the royal mountain named Hia’mo.

The child was held up to the sun and the high priest made the offering to the Gods that this child was indeed of royal blood, since the child was born at the holy time.

The priest reported to the King that additional proof was needed before the child could be pronounced as royalty to follow in the footsteps of the King.

The royal test was called out. The child was placed on the holy rock. The child’s umbilical cord was placed in a hollow bowl made of rare coral.

The child had to stay there for one full day and moon.

Everyone examined the umbilical cord through that period. If the ants did not eat the umbilical cord, the child would be ordained a young king by the high priest.

If the ants ate the cord, the child was obviously an imposter. The high priest picked up the child and threw it off the mountain.

Ooma and Oopa’s man child failed the test. Ooma and Oopa went home to try, try again.

And that’s how it was in the old days in Hawaii.

This religious practice was stopped later on when the King realized too many of his subjects were being thrown off the mountain.

Maui Blackie -  Bllackie Gadarian

Customer's Communicate