Archive for April, 2007

Stop what you are doing and take care of ME

April 25th, 2007

Now we have the small minded customers who, for what ever reason, do not receive the email I send them that informed them that their selection was either sold out or was temporarily out of stock. Is it my fault if they delete or miss my email? Is it my fault that their rush order did not get filled? Is it my fault that they wait until the last minute and have poor planning? Is it my fault that someone else purchased the last one of the item they wanted?

Hey! Did you ever hear of a thing called a TELEPHONE. There is a toll free number on the bottom area of all 2,500 pages of my web site. Call, you silly screw ups. Get off my back.

I do answer the phone when I’m not packing your rush orders. Leave a message and don’t just hang up. And, don’t forget I don’t answer the phone between 3 A.M. and 5 A.M. when most of you like to call. Bah! Mainlanders.


Here are some examples of what I deal with on a daily basis. “It’s Tuesday. I need my dress on Friday!” Or, I like these. “I’m getting married next week. Could you please stop what you are doing and take care of me, NOW.” “Please ship my wedding dress so I will have it in three days!” “I know you are 9,000 miles away from me in New York, but I don’t care.” Or, how about this one. “I don?t understand your size charts. I’m going to buy three sizes and expect to send two of them back to you.” (They will come back unzipped, unbutton, crumpled up and shoved into a box). I think I will also buy a couple of different styles too. And, I don’t want to pay any re-stocking fees. I don’t care if I take away the ability for someone else to buy these dresses. It makes no difference to me that you only have two or three of each in those sizes. I’m only interested in taking care of me. Everyone else can go screw themselves. And, by the way, why is your shipping charges to much money. Sheesh. Get a life.


They send me nasty email about my poor customer service. They point their finger at me. They shout with bold letters and complain that my customer service is poor. They go out of their way to leave negative feedback in the public forum. They say I communicate poorly.

Well, when I run up on a goof like this, I simply block their IP address, place their email in the spam blocker and get on with life and real people. I have tried to deal with these negative people. I try to reason with them. It’s simply a waste of my time. They are bent on screwing with me. I will not deal with people who want to bring me down to their level of incompetence.

These people should shop for their Aloha wear at Sears or J. C. Penny or even better, Hilo Hattie.

Go buy your made in Pakistan polyester garments. Leave me alone. Go anywhere, but not on my web site.

No one works harder than me when it comes to taking care of my real customers’ needs. I work seven days a week, 12 to 14 hours a day. 99% of my customers are people who are reasonable and appreciate top of the line aloha wear, at some of the lowest prices on the planet, and know I offer the best customer service a person could ask for.

READ MY FEEDBACK. The wonderful things people say didn’t get there from having poor customer service. Look at the Kudos page. For every screwed up customer there are 1,000 good ones. Thank goodness.



Customer's Communicate

Returns, Exchanges and Refunds : M.S.O.I. in action

April 22nd, 2007

Just another wonderful day in this Maui Paradise. Sunday. I got here at 6:15 a.m. to catch up on returns, exchanges and refunds. I finished the paperwork, issuing all refunds for exchanges and returns about 5 hours later, just before noon.

85% or more of the apparel I receive back on Maui is for exchanges. Most of them for a different size. I can not impress upon you strong enough to read and use the published size charts. Much effort has gone into these size charts. They are accurate to many customer?s chagrin. These size charts are so good that many of my competitors steal them and call them their own.

There are no two clothing manufacturers that can agree on any sizing criteria. The size charts on the pages of pertain specifically to Paradise Found and R. J. Clancey apparel. They have little, if any, relationship to other manufactures sizing. If people would just use them, they would save a lot of time. And, save a great deal of return postage money. Of course, there are no two people built in the same way. And, fashion and how you like to wear your garments is a personal thing and again, beauty and comfort is an individual thing. Take note: the charts are extremely helpful. I mean, you know if you are difficult to fit or not. So, don?t attempt to get your square peg body into a round size garment or visa versa. Aloha wear is made to fit loosely. You know, hang loose. Aloha Friday and all. There is not top button on most Aloha shirts.

But, I digress. Back to returns, exchanges and refunds. The acronym M.S.O.I. means Maui Shirts Order Investigation. This is a very important aspect of doing business on-line. Attempting to refund money for exchanges and refunds without having the customer?s order number. The bulk, at least it seems, of the boxes received here on Maui for returns and / or exchanges have something missing; the original order number, the exchange order number, no paperwork of any kind inside the box, tiny pieces of paper with fast scribble, mostly unreadable chicken scratch notes inside the box, notes to exchange this for that, and lots of a lack of common sense information, unbuttoned or unzipped items. Shirts and dresses are folded without much concern, and all together without much regard. About one in every few hundred get nabbed for the $ 7.50 steaming fee. And, when they get nabbed for this steaming fee they really, really deserve it. If you would only fold the things like you were packing to go on a trip. Lay them flat and fold them flat. I do receive many things in bags and envelopes. I frown on this, but these people know how to fold. The shirts and dresses come out of the bag or envelope flat and easy to hang and re-stock. Just because you put it in a box does not mean you don?t have to fold it! You would be surprised how many people send things back without any information what so ever. Not even a readable return address. In many instances I can do a search by a name, an email address, a physical address, city or state to locate the person. This can take a long time. I have no idea where they made their purchase;,, Ebay,, telephone order, mail order. A few each month go into the “unknown” file. I spend 5 to 10 minutes on the unknowns and if I can?t locate who they are, they go into the file. All orders from all sources are sorted and stored by their order number. The people who return things with little or no information about their order are the first ones to call my toll free number and complain about not receiving their refund within 3 to 5 days. Sheesh. As if they were the only customer?s I have.

Many people have more than one email address and never spell their names or their addresses the same way twice. These are the most difficult to determine. M.S.O.I. goes into action.

So, if you want your refund for your exchange or refund, in quick fashion, please include your order number. The order number is not the item number, it is not the stock number, it is not the USPS Delivery Confirmation number, it is not the Federal Express tracking number, it is not your telephone number and it is not anything except your order number. No mater where you place your order,,,, you will receive a confirmation, via email, within seconds, giving you your order number. Even when you place your order on the telephone, you will receive an order number.

Many Mahalos to all of you wonderful folks that include your order number in your email and requests. And, many Mahalos to all you wonderful folks that know how to button up a shirt and fold it flatly and kudos to those women who can fold a dress so that when it is unfolded it can be placed back into available, saleable stock.


Responses To Yahoo Customer Feedback

How to fit a long tank dress into a playing card box…

April 14th, 2007

You?re going to love this little tidbit. In my nine years of doing business on-line offering returns and exchanges I?ve literally received hundreds of boxes, bags, packages, envelopes of all kinds, shapes and sizes. I hate them when they are sealed with duct tape. You would be surprised how many people just crumple up their return apparel as if it was someone?s laundry and shove it without any care into some bag or envelope. Put some stamps on it and drop it into the closest Post Office box on the corner of some street.

The other day a lady returned a Long Tank dress folded and rolled so small that it barely squeezed into a box a little larger than a deck of cards. How she managed this feat is hard to imagine. This was, by far, the worst case of a returned item. Where was this person?s common sense? The creases and wrinkles in this dress took over 45 minutes to steam out. When I deducted the $ 7.50 from her refund she sent an email telling me that this information should have been told to her before she made her purchase. She also said that the dress and shirt she purchased were received by her in wrinkled condition. She accused me of not doing the math correctly and demanded I refund an additional $ 7.50.

Let me state, without any BS, right here and now. All apparel is folded and neatly wrapped in sheets of tissue paper with great care. They are placed into a large USPS Priority or Federal Express box for protection. Some wrinkles will occur. After all, these are rayon clothes. They wrinkle.

Not only did this tiny wrapping person not read the information in the email sent to her when she asked for the return, she did not see it on the check out page either. There is no small print. I do not try to hide anything from anyone about these sort of things. She did not read it from a link on the top of all 2,500 pages. It?s called RETURNS / EXCHANGES / REFUNDS. No other web site makes this information so easy to find. And, to top it off, she did not read the 8 ?” X 11″ color letter head notice on how to send things back to Maui she received in her shipment box. The information was in her face in RED. She not only ignored all this information, she sent the package back via First Class mail. This cost her a couple of extra dollars instead of using Priority Mail that is suggested in the email she received and recommended on the returns/exchanges/ refund page. She did purchase another item that she kept and did not exchange or return. I felt sorry for her that I had to deduct 15% restocking fee along with the $ 7.50 steaming cost. I gave her a coupon code worth $ 10.00 for any subsequent purchase. I?ve not heard back from her.


Package Manager, M.S.O.I.


Aloha Wear and Rush…Some how or another the two things should not be in the same sentence

April 12th, 2007

Why is everyone on the Mainland in a rush? 90% of all orders state they need their Aloha Wear in a few days. Why? What?s the rush? Aloha and Rush just don?t line up. It doesn?t make any sense. Is it the first thing you need because you are coming to the Islands and the last thing you purchased? Did you get some sun tan lotion?


I?m one man doing the job of three. I pack 200 to 300 or more boxes of Aloha Wear every freaking week. I work 12 to 14 hours a day, 7 days a week. If I leave at 5 PM, I going home early. I ship more boxes via Federal Express 2nd Day air from West Maui than anyone.


It?s all good. I?m not complaining. I?m living in Paradise.


What irks me is the phone calls and the emails asking “Where is my order. I placed it two days ago. I selected 2nd day Federal Express, etc.” First of all, let me make this perfectly clear, (and it?s stated in several areas on the web site pages), 2ND DAY AIR DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN YOU ARE GOING TO RECEIVE YOUR SHIPMENT IN TWO DAYS! It?s just the way things are shipped from the middle of the Pacific Ocean. There is no bridge or tunnel to the Mainland. And, please take note of this; It is virtually impossible to stock every print, in every color and in every style and size all of the time. Please consider this. The web site is updated every day through out the day to reflect on-hand stocks and inventory, exchanges and refunds. Many things have to come in from the factories in Honolulu. (That?s on Oahu – another island). I stock over 5,000 shirts and dresses all of the time. I would need a showroom a Mainland city block long to keep every item in every size and color in stock. And, I would need, my best guess, at least two million dollars to buy and stock all these things so you can get you Aloha Wear in RUSH time.


So, stop sending email and making the toll free phone calls to check on the status of your order two days after you placed it on line. The phone starts to ring here at 3 a.m. in the morning. Don?t you know that New York and all dem Eastern States are SIX HOURS ahead of us folks on Maui? Hawaii time does not change. All you Mainlanders change your clocks a few times a year. It?s got to a point where I simply can not answer the phone to answer these ?check on my order? questions, nor can I ever empty my Email In Box, because there is not enough time in the day to pack your rush orders and answer the silly questions.


So, you say, “hire some help”. Sheesh. This is Maui. No one wants to work here. Surf?s up! Sorry, boss I can?t come in today. This is the real Blue Flu. Ocean Blue flu. Maui has the lowest unemployment rate anywhere. You can?t find dependable people to work. I have to start pay at $ 15.00 per hour to find the same kind of person that slings cheeseburgers or pizza. Quality help is rare and few and far between.


Read my feedback. It?s on the top left of every page. YOUR ORDER WILL SHIP OUT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. This is Maui. Chill out. Relax. You are going to get what you ordered in a very reasonable time frame.


Vindictive Fat Lady with a hair ball stuck in her brain..

April 9th, 2007

Then there’s the sad, misguided customer from who is a 2X. I wonder if she is ugly too? (just kidding!)  Most big people are kind and friendly. Not this one. She didn’t read the size chart. She didn’t read the Seller’s Policy. This important information is in your face and has links on every single listing. It could not be any easier.

She purchased the last size and color of one of the most popular dresses. She was pissed that she had to pay $ 8.01 for a re-stocking fee. She was so mad that, before she ever sent the dress back, she left scathing negative feedback in the public forum. She wanted to hurt me in the wallet. She is stupid enough to think there are other people on this planet that think and act like her. Well, unfortunately there are some. The important issue here is that has built a reputation of great customer service. However, no matter how hard we try to satisfy everyone, there is always someone, that no matter what you do, who will always be mean and unhappy. I suggest a diet or date with Richard Simmons for this fat lady before she sings. She has the word kitten in her email address. The only thing kitten about this double X size of a woman is the hair ball she swallowed when she was younger. (just kidding again!) What an attitude. Vindictive, vicious and just plain stupid. She says my exchange policy is rigid and ridiculous. Hmmm. There is no re-stocking fee for exchanges. What is rigid with that? There are literally thousands of items to choose from. You can exchange for anything. And, you have six months to do it. The only thing rigid is her. Or is it frigid. (ha,ha)

Customer's Communicate

Re-Stocking Fee?

April 8th, 2007

Re-stocking fee? What in the world is that? I?ll tell you. It’s not just a re-stocking fee. It’s a handling, re-listing and re-stocking fee. It helps defray the cost of re-listing that item you purchased. It probably made no difference to you that the item you purchased?was the last size or last color. Why should you care??The small 15% fee?helps defray the cost of un-listing the item you purchased and it helps defray the cost of re-listing it when you return it because you didn?t bother to use the published size charts. The paperwork you create is in itself a little nightmare. More times than not, you fail to mention your order numbers. You use two different email addresses. You don?t follow the simple instructions in the email you receive. You write cryptic notes and enclose them in your return box. You need an email sent to you for clarification. You enclose your phone number. What a joke. Maui is 3 to 6 hours earlier than you from the Mainland. There is no time for phone tag. You think that you are the only customer I have? You think I can remember every transaction? Think again. Please, pretty please. Every week, over 200 transactions or more?occur. It is impossible to remember every nuance of every transaction. There are literally over one thousand new transactions per month.

There is no automatic magic button that updates and deletes and adds these things to the web site pages. It?s done with time and care by hand. It?s labor. Tedious exacting labor. Oh, it didn?t fit. But, what about the other person that wanted that item. It might have?have fit them.

You are buying high quality apparel that is hand made in very limited quantities. The size charts are accurate, much to your dismay and chagrin. If you are one of those people who will not admit that you can not fit into a 2X size, please shop somewhere else. Try a Mu’uMu’u or consider Hilo Hattie for your next purchase. If you are a woman who is 150 lbs. and 5′ 1″, I doubt if any item offered here will fit you. Get real. If you are difficult to fit, then you know you are wasting your time and mine.

Re-stocking fee. It helps pay for the steaming and ironing of the items that you stuff into a box, unbuttoned or unzipped and put into an envelope and send back as if I were your valet. Well, I?m not your personal valet and I?m not happy for the dozens of items returned each month for exchange that are sent back without any care what-so-ever. I?m not your mother. If I have to fold your clothes and hang them up as if you were a little child, I must charge you for the time it takes to do this. If you begrudge the 15% fee, then, please, I beg of?you,?shop somewhere else.

And, most important, for those folks that fold and ship with care, I salute you. You are NOT the majority. You are the exception. I love you. I move your exchange, return to the top of the stack. You get your refund very quickly.

I take great care in folding and packing your items. Please do your best and return your items in good condition so I can re-stock and re-sell it. Please. Pretty please.


Size Charts and Measurements

April 7th, 2007

Aloha world,

Let it be public knowledge that there are no two manufacturers of apparel on this planet that can agree on size measurements. The measurements in the size charts on pertain ONLY to the apparel Made in Hawaii and, quite frankly, I doubt if they measure up to any other manufacturer who make their garments in Pakistan, Honduras, Mexico, China or any third world nation. PLEASE use the measurements in the size charts published on just about every single page here, to help determine your size. We all know that there are no two people built the same way, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But, these size charts will help you make an educated decision. Don?t think that the size you purchased from some department store is going to be the same. Most size measurements are meant, with all good intentions, for the average person. But, then again, what is average. Remember there is no re-stocking fee for exchanges.



April 7th, 2007

(M.S.O.I.)Maui Shirts Order Investigation.

It never fails to amaze me how rude, inconsiderate and stupid some people can be. Today I opened this weeks boxes from customer?s returns and exchanges. There were 13 boxes. One person could not of possibly found a smaller box. A deck of playing cards might not have fit into this box. She rolled a long tank dress up like a strand of flat spaghetti, then re-folded it until it snugly fit into this tiny box. The dress, of course, was totally wrinkled and crumpled. Not only did she do this silly thing, but she sent it first class mail and paid much more than Priority Mail. Too much! She wasted her money and now she must pay the $ 7.50 to steam and press the dress.Three boxes contained no order number, email address or anything at all to identify the sender. Now what?s that all about? ships 200 to 300 boxes per week! Am I supposed to remember each customer?s items that I send to them? I don?t think so.There is not enough time in the day to research these sender?s orders to find out who they are, yet alone what they want. These three will go into the unknown file. I photo-copy the address and return label from the box. Some day someone will call or email and complain about not receiving their refund. Hopefully I will be able to match them up after obtaining some further information form them.

Five boxes were packed so shabbily that if I sent them their items as they returned them to me, I would be out of business in short time. How is it possible that full grown adults do not know how to fold a shirt or a dress?

Then what about the scotch tape and duct tape people. I better unwrap those boxes fast before the adhesive residue stains the garments. I hate packages sealed with duct tape. At best, it?s tacky. The worst offenders are those that simply crumple up the shirt or dress, totally unbuttoned or unzipped and stuff, shove it into a used box. How rude. What?s that about?

All items are neatly folded and neatly wrapped into tissue paper when sent to you. Are you mad at me because your fat body will not fit into the X-Small shirt or dress you purcahsed? The least you can do is try hard to fold the thing neatly. Some wrinkles are expected, but how about showing a tiny bit of respect. If I sent it to you, like you returned it to me, I wouldn?t have very many repeat customers at all. I would be deluged with negative feedback.

Respectfully yours, Sargent Commander Manic Mickey of M.S.O.I.


Box it !

April 6th, 2007

The Returns / Exchanges / Refund link is on the top right hand of all 2,500 plus web pages. It is written in clear and easy to understand language. It clearly states to send your return or exchange items back to Maui in a BOX. Why in the world do people still send things back in an envelope or bag via Priority Mail? The price is the same people. You are going to get tagged with a $ 7.50 steaming and ironing fee. If you are going to the Post Office to pick up a Priority envelope to ship back your returns or exchanges you asking for trouble. Pick up the box. It?s FREE. The box is free. But, please don?t use a CD or Cassette box. It?s too small. Don?t use a Flat Rate Box – it?s $ 8.10. Use the PRIORITY MAIL BOX. The cost to ship the envelope or the box is exactly the same; $ 4.05 for up to one pound ! BOX IT !


What is an ORDER NUMBER…. hmmm

April 6th, 2007

All transactions from Yahoo, (the main web site), as well as and and eBay have order numbers. ALL ORDERS are stored and sorted by their Order Number. PLEASE communicate with your Order Number. The Order Number is NOT the stock number, it is NOT the Federal Express tracking number, it is not the SKU number or any other number you may want to quote. And, it is NOT the Post Office Priority Mail Delivery Confirmation Number. If you placed your order via the toll-free number, or a Phone Order, your order number would be a four digit number preceded by PH, or PH-1234. If you mailed in your order, then there is no order number – good luck.

The order number is sent to you, via email, within seconds after you place your order.

From Yahoo, it is on the very top of your email page and reads simply, “Order MauiShirts-12345 for MauiShirts. From it is a 17 digit number that looks like this: 000-111111-2222222. From the Order number has seven digits and is called the “Master Order Number. The eBay order number is the Item Number, usually 10 digits. So, if you want a speedy reply to your inquires, PLEASE include your order number. Without your order number, I would have to search with your email address within,, and eBay. Of course it is not as simple as that. Some of you have more than one email address. Some of you shop from your work place, (shame on you), and have two or more different email addressees. Some of you use your husband?s or wife?s email address. If it can be made complicated, you will make it so. So, if you do not get a reply to your inquiry within a few hours, it is because I?m searching for your order number so I can communicate to you with some knowledge of your order. easily receives more than 200 to 300 emails per day. Amongst this mass of email are 25 to 50 or more genuine orders or inquires.